Solving
Hot Relationship Issues
by
JM Jackson
Differences of opinions will always be part of
relationships.
While many people break up because differences many conflicts
can be resolved. It boils down to both people honestly wanting
to resolve the conflict and not just get their own way.
Here is a 10 Step process I use that has proven to work for
many couples. It resolves conflicts by recognizing that
successful relationships run through a series of compromises by
both individuals.
1. Let go of the idea of “getting your way.” There is no such
thing in a successful relationship.
2. All relationships have conflict. Relax and stop being
embarrassed by the problem.
3. Acknowledge the conflict. Recognize that there is a conflict
and that resolving it together will make your relationship
better.
4. Listen carefully. Each of you has something to say and an
opinion. By listening you acknowledge the other’s worth in the
relationship.
5. Set a time when you will get back together to try to resolve
the problem. Prioritize the meeting as important and make sure
you show up for it.
6. Examine your role in the problem. Define it so you
understand what you think the problem is. Which of your
behaviors adds to the problem? Accept responsibility for your
role in producing or keeping the problem going.
7. Identify behaviors that each of you can change. Think of as
many different solutions as you can. The more possible
solutions and behavior changes you can think of, the greater
the chance of finding those that will solve the problem.
8. Be ready to negotiate solutions. Keep the discussion open
and going until you both agree on which solution to try. This
solution should include behavior changes that each of you
should make and a potential timetable for making them. Set a
date to discuss how well this solution is working.
9. Implement your new behaviors.
10. Meet again to discuss what has worked and what hasn’t. For
those things that haven’t worked, go back to your list of
possible solutions and pick a new one to try. Resolve to keep
meeting and trying new behaviors until the problem is solved.
Use this technique for resolving any relationship problem you
have. It will work as long as each party is willing to accept
responsibility for their own part and are willing to try new
behaviors until the successful changes are found.
About The Author: Jaycee Jackson counsels on relationships in
northern California. For more information see Stop Your Divorce
and Save Your Marriage.
http://www.besttipssite.com
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