Coping With Relationship Breakups

Do you miss him/her or do you miss who you thought he/she was?

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. 
...Mary Tyler Moore

Your relationships reflect your fears and limits. How can anyone ever give you what you won't allow?
 ...Stephen C. Paul

When we live with resentment toward another our hearts close down. Letting go of our resentment frees us from placing blame on them and allows us to look toward ourself for peace.
 ....Franklin P. Adams

This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.
 ...Sir Francis BAcon

I'm not sure what the future holds but I do know that I'm going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said "Nic, it is what it is, it's not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is".
...Nicole Kidman

Infuriated, rejected or bitter - it's entirely your choice how you choose to feel about it. If you look and identify with the possible causes of your break up, you will realize that it was long over due. The signs were there a long time coming. If you had noticed at all or even wanted to, you could easily have taken steps to save the relationship and prevent the break up.

Stop re-playing the movie of your breakup in your mind over and over. Stop dwelling on it. Stop focusing on it.

Get out of denial and accept the break up. Stop wallowing in self pity, feeling victimized or rejected. And please stop playing the  blame game. The sooner you face up to it, the faster you will get over it.

Just because things did not go your way, does not mean that you should get enraged or bitter or feel rejected or hurt or lonely or scared. You need to ask yourself the question whether your partner's behavior was mirroring some deep seated emotional needs inside you - yes responding or reacting to you in a way that you are subconsciously asking for...

On the other hand, were you reading meanings and beliefs into the relationship that were not really there -- that is you were interpreting his/her behaviors through the microscopic filters of your own limiting beliefs...

Yes, you are responsible. Accept that responsibility and resolve to be better next time. Your big questions should be:

• Why did you allow this to happen to yourself?

• Why did you attract this relationship into your life?

• What can you do now to prevent yourself from attracting a similar relationship in the future?

For a change - Why not feel good about this relationship breakup? Yes, feel good that you got a chance to learn from a practical mistake. Think yourself into a better frame of mind and soon everything will start appearing with a positive tint. Life will take on a totally new meaning.

You have the power to think and feel what you choose to. And you can change your thoughts and your feelings right now. So replace those debilitating thoughts with more powerful ones and see the change for yourself.