How to Get Over a Break Up...
You will wake up one day from that self
imposed breakup trance and discover that it was all a big joke - Oh the
self imposed boundaries - You will laugh out loud at yourself, for being
so silly to have allowed yourself to wallow in those emotions of a break
up for so long.
I know... right now you are devastated emotionally.
Probably plunged in to a financial crisis, dealing with custodial issues
of children or dependants, undergoing drastic changes in your life style
and dealing with the pain all alone - Oh the unfairness of it all ... The faster you get over it the
I also understand that in a bad breakup, it
is not easy to let go of the pain - the totally uncontrollable
emotional eruptions in your mind happen without warning and at the most
unlikeliest of times. Such emotions seem to have a life of their own and
hold you a virtual hostage in your own world.
Yes... break ups can be torture - particularly a
bad breakup. Your life is
turned upside down and inside out.
However, a break up is not the
end of the world. You still have a long life ahead. So don't just drown it
out in misery.
You can regain your personal power - It's
not impossible to get over your break up - Check out the tips & strategies
Some of the methods presented here may
appear too mundane or commonplace, yet please read through to the end, you
will pick up a few nuggets of deep inner wisdom that will change your
perspective of your own reality... so read on.
How to Survive a Break up - 10 Sure fire
Ways to help you get over a breakup faster...
1. Keep contact with your ex to a
If possible eliminate it all together- there is no point in
maintaining a friendly relationship with your ex , if you no longer have
anything in common. He/she is now virtually a stranger... and you keep
away from strangers.
2. Don't try to spy on, or talk to
neighbors or friends, or try to keep tabs on what your ex is up to, or
If you do so, it simply shows that you are obsessed
with your ex guy or girl, and he/she still has a lot of 'control Power' over you.
Shift your focus away from your ex. Simply refuse to think about him or
her. You have to get out from under his/her influence as soon as you can.
So don't even think about what he or she is doing. That is not your
problem anymore. Just like you would not want to have your activities
monitored or spied upon, neither would your ex. And this behavior of
keeping tabs smells strongly of jealousy... It can be classified as
'harassment' and could result in violence. Since You're not a control
freak or a psychopath and would never resort to violence, so simply erase
all thoughts about your 'ex' from your mind.
3. Letting go of a break up - Don't let
your emotions control you ...
You control your emotions... I know this can be a tough cookie to
crack, particularly when every waking moment, you discover that your mind
has a will of its own and simply starts wandering over to thoughts of
your ex... it apparently seems beyond your control ... you find your
thoughts stuck in cycles about your ex...
Don't get bogged down in cycles of jealousy,
anger, hatred, etc...
You have to become watchful of your
thoughts and eliminate them as soon as you notice them. Some spiritual
techniques for dealing with your thoughts are described in the following
Coping With a Break
Self hypnosis is also a good solution to deal with break up
issues. You can check out
Self Hypnosis Mp3's for Dealing With break up Issues...
(such as forgiveness, jealousy, getting over your ex, anger management and
4. Now you have to concentrate on
re-building your life with self confidence and self esteem
If you are financially constrained, your first
thoughts to get over the break up , should be to get back on your
'financial feet'... you may need to get a job, or if you already have one,
you may have to figure out ways of either improving your income or
managing your finances better.
Here instead of just forging ahead, I will
advise you to sit down and do some real planning, since you are already
undergoing major changes in your life, plan your moves well. At this point
it will be a good idea to check out
Re-gain Your Self Respect, Self Confidence & Self Esteem
even if you don't get them
at this time, it might give you some pointers along the lines you may want
to improve yourself.
5. Next, you need
to strengthen your network of supportive friends to help you get over the
Reconnect with your old
friends or go out and find some new ones. Spending some quality time with
friends will help you to get over a break up much faster. Though remember,
positive friends will work better for you than negative types. So be
selective in whom you chose to spend time with. Concentrate on friends who
are mutually supportive and uplifting.
6. Also here is a
bit of relationship advice: Don't let the fear of loneliness push you into
a new relationship right away, or don't let it even rebound you back into
the arms of your ex.
Handle your fears
positively. Remember that they are nothing more than a thought in your
mind, and can be controlled by you. Take charge of your relationships or
even stay away from an emotional involvement with someone, until you have
gotten over your current break up.
hopeless that you won't be able to get someone else to share your life
with in the future. The world is full of wonderful people and you will be
divinely directed to your true soul mate, once you are able to get out of
the influence of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend and able to connect with
your true divine self.
7. Slowly start
getting out of the habits and feelings of codependency that you might have
acquired with your ex partner.
You need to start
getting more independent, build up your self esteem, become confident and
start doing all your things independently.
appreciating yourself more. Start taking better care of yourself both
physically as well as emotionally. Remember that you can love someone only
to the extent that you can love yourself. If you don't care about
yourself, you can never care about anyone else... and then the
relationship always fails. Because your relationship was a good reflection
of your own fears and limitations. You were seeking from your partner the
strength, confidence and support that you found missing in yourself. Why
not focus on cultivating all those missing elements in your personal self,
rather than looking for them outside of yourself?
Here if you need help,
you can use
Re-gain Your Self Respect, Self Confidence & Self Esteem.
8. You have just
received a second chance to 'start over' - Consider yourself a very lucky
man or woman - a lot of people don't get a second chance in life.
So don't just
throw away your days in lamenting or even merry making. Don't relegate
yourself to a mediocre life... this is your chance to find your passion in
life - find what you really want to do, and make plans, set goals to start
working towards your dream life. This time around, live your life the way
you want it, not the way other's want it. So find what you want to do and
9. Just like you
are often advised to learn from your mistakes, a break up is a mistake --
a life lesson -- learn from it.
Even though you
are going to forgive and let go of all your past experiences, you are not
going to forget -- you are just going to remember them without the pain or
emotional baggage -- with a sense of detachment -- As time goes on, you
will be able to reflect upon it with detachment, and learn from it.
What does it tell you
about your own attitude?
What does it tell
you about how you deal with others?
What does it tell
you about your likes and dislikes in the relationship?
What could you do
better next time?
What would you
like to avoid all together?
How have you grown from
What changes would you
like to see in yourself?
Even if you don't think
about all the angles of your relationship consciously. You have for sure
learned a few things that are going to come back to you from time to time.
Such life lessons are for learning so that history does not repeat itself
in your future.
10. Keep doing
the best you can. Keep working on improving yourself and achieving your
dreams. Go get a Life!
Don't ever look
back. And remember, that living well is the best revenge you can have on
your ex. So go and live the best possible life you can. A life spent
bemoaning your fate, complaining about the unfairness of things or crying
over a lost relationship is a wasted life. It soon stagnates and virtually
'dies'. To continue living successfully you have to keep moving positively
forward. Try new things. take up creative hobbies. Challenge yourself to
come up with some adventurous dreams and goals and launch yourself
forward with passion. Yes, I dare you to live your life with passion. For
at the end, a life well lived is all that matters. Everything else are
simply forgotten memories.
This is the ultimate (Final) technique for getting over a break up - You
Won't find anything better anywhere else -
After you have tried
everything else described above and you still feel that you cannot really
bring yourself to get over those painful relationship memories. This
is the ultimate technique, there is nothing else after this. Unless of
course if science comes up with some other greater technology or
invention, which will not happen in the near future. And since you don't
really want to wait that long, so here goes:
your brain cannot think two things at the same moment. That's the way that
it has been designed by the great creator. So if you can engage your mind
in something that totally engrosses you, you can successfully distract it
away from those unwanted memories. Once you are able to do that
successfully even for a moment, then build upon it. With sufficient
practice, you will find your mind does not go back to those unwanted
memories. Even if you do have a momentary flashback, you will be surprised
to discover that it has lost its hold over you. You can view it with
disinterest or without emotional pain and attachment.
This can be
achieved in several ways... using NLP techniques, deep meditation, brain
training etc. Some of these techniques have been described in the
other articles on this page, you can read them if you have the time.
However, if you don't
want to waste anymore of your time in searching for the next best 'how to
get over a break up' idea --
(Remember there are millions of pages on Google
alone for this search term, and you can easily spend the next several
months of your life reading through them - well happy reading, I have
nothing against that)
-- However, if you
truly want to get over your breakup, then make a decision right now - Take
a few minutes to look through the resources described below and pick the
one that resonates with you...
The Ultimate How to get over a break up
resources that engage you at the mind level and distract you from your
breakup, hence enabling you to get over it once and forever: