Confronting Negative People - How to Cope With Negative People
at work or at home
Face it, you would love to get as far away as
possible from that negative person. The constant whining , complaining, fault
finding, anger , criticism and overall negative attitude keeps pulling you down
into stress or even depression.
You can barely maintain sanity with him or her
around, yet you cannot just quit on him or her... he or she may be someone you
love... perhaps a close friend, a brother or sister, a parent or even a partner.
Or what's more they could be your boss or an associate at work. You can't just
quit your home or your work due to that negative person. You have to learn to
handle it with ease and grace.
How to deal with Negative People at work or at
home - Here are some strategies to help you in coping
with negative people:
Remember that though you cannot control someone's
attitude yet you are free to chose your own reaction or response.
So you could reframe that negative person's
complaints and restate them highlighting the silver lining of the situation. Or
you could laugh out the whole thing by bringing out the humor in the situation.
This way you will be presenting the sunny side up and may even help your
negative 'friend' to see the bright side of things.
Listen attentively, however don't condemn,
ridicule or judge. Don't show your disapproval. It's not your job nor your
responsibility to try and change anyone who is bent on 'self destructing' . To
understand this concept further, you might read the article
However sometimes the negativity may not be as
simple as seeing the proverbial glass as half full or half empty, it may go much
deeper than that. Negative people are often consumed with serious emotional
insecurities like feelings of low self worth, or guilt or regrets or anger or a
victim mentality, and their negative attitude is simply a response to these
innermost subconscious feelings.
Sometimes the negative personality might not just
be talking or behaving like a victim, he or she might become a 'victimiser'.
He or she might be attacking you verbally or psychologically in trying to make
up for the deficiencies that this person encounters within.
While you are at the receiving end of that
person's negative attitude, try to understand where he/she is coming from.
What he/she has been through to become programmed with such a negative
outlook. Know that person is acting in the only way he/she knows
how. Feel the empathy and the negativity will stop affecting you as much
as before. You will now feel sorry for the person, but you can overcome
this using the spiritual technique of projecting love and moving on.
Remember:
-
It is not your fault that persons attitude
is negative , so don't go acquiring any misplaced guilt about this issue.
-
Also it is not your spiritual responsibility
to change that person. Everyone is on their own spiritual journey and is
solely responsible for their own growth or actions. Your job is just to project love and peace
and move on.
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Don't let the negative attitude affect you. To be able to
develop such a strong positive exterior or a 'thick skin' , you need to
empower yourself -
keep reading positive supportive material everyday. Treat this just like a
vitamin pill, that you need everyday to boost up your immune system. one
positive article a day, will not take up much of your time, and you will
be the better for it.
-
You might want to work on developing
assertiveness or improve your conversational abilities to empower yourself
and help you in dealing with that negative person in your life.
If you really want to help that person get over
the negativity block, check out
Self Help Tapes & CD's... ,
their
Incredible Self Esteem tapes could help your negative person get
over it and become a totally positive powerhouse in just a few short weeks. Or
you could use them yourself to boost up your assertiveness, self confidence and
self esteem. Make yourself strong.
Also please note: if you feel that the verbal
aggressiveness is exceeding your limits of endurance or might even be
progressing towards physical abuse... do not hesitate to seek professional
counseling or encourage the person to go for psychological therapy.
Remember you are under no obligation to
endure any form of verbal or psychological or even physical abuse from anyone,
whatever your relationship to this person. You have a right to walk away any
time you choose to do so. So exercise your rights.
How to deal with negative people at work or at
home / Confronting negative people - Here is a recap:
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It's not your fault.
-
Do not take it personally.
-
Always reframe the situation considering
that "the negative person is basically a good person, he/she is just taking out
his/her frustrations on you, because you happen to be in his/her line of fire at
that moment".
-
Your best approach is to placate the person,
and move on with your work/life without letting that negative attitude bring you
down.
-
Use Humor, assertiveness, conversational hypnosis
or plain politeness or persuasiveness - whatever works - to diffuse the
situation and move on gracefully.
-
Yes make yourself so positive, with such a
high level of self esteem and self confidence that no amount of negativity can
bring you down.
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If you feel the negativity is 'accelerating beyond
your endurance' and turning in to physical or psychological harassment or
abuse, walk away from the relationship or situation and seek professional help.
How to Cope With Negative People - Dealing With
Negative People - More Articles:
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The
Author Shahnaz Rauf is a prolific writer with vast experience and
interests.
To find out more or contact her, use the contact
information at her website
http://www.snzeport.com
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