Letting Go and Moving On - After a Break Up
It
s all over and done with. The break up is official. You two are now physically
far away. But can you say the same about your heart. It keeps coming back to the
same old , same old stories and situations that you experienced with your ex. If
it is not an unfulfilled deep longing beckoning like a mirage, It could be
resentment very mildly put; or jealousy of your ex's new relationships, or even
guilt that you did not do enough... or even worse... anger bordering on rage.
Out
with those lingering feelings. You don't only want to get over it, you want to
be free of it. Else it is still holding you hostage and you're paying hefty
ransom in terms of taking up valuable space in your brain's hard drive. It could
even be debilitating your life.
if
it was merely a computer, the answer would be simple... erase those memory files
and reprogram your hard drive. But this is a matter of your brain cells. They
are more valuable than a few bytes of digital memory. Though self hypnosis
programs do exist to help you forget and erase those bad memories. Yet, I feel,
just as you would that running away from a situation would not solve the
problem.
You
have to face it. You have to release those feelings and allow yourself to move
on with your life. Any lingering feelings need to be let go from your mind and
your life.
First of all you have to accept what cannot be changed. The break up happened.
It's over. And you don't even want to reverse it.
Next accept that it was a necessary experience for you to travel through the
journey of life. You are the richer and you have learned some positive things
from it.
Then Give yourself permission to move on. Repeat the following affirmation
a few times : "I now give myself permission to move on with my life".
Finally, you have to take action to release those lingering feelings from your
mind... just like brushing your teeth to release any lingering tastes from your
mouth, you do need to 'brush' your mind clean.
here is a question for you: Why do you think you
need to allow those feelings to linger on? They have made a home in your mind
because you have given them permission. Revoke this permission right now and
throw them out.
You are not letting them go, because
subconsciously you think it is right to think in that way. You are holding on
because You have seen your
friend's or other people in your life behaving in that way, that's why you are
following suit just like a ritual. You don't have to do what your friend or mom
did. Do your own thing.
Don't replay those scenarios over and over again
in your mind. Put a stop to them as soon as you notice them. You can do it if
you would pay just a little attention to your thoughts.
Though you cannot totally eliminate those
lingering feelings of regret , guilt or anger, yet you can keep on dimming them
or turning them down a notch every time by refusing to indulge in them, and
eliminating them from your thoughts as soon as you notice them.
One way of dimming those lingering memories in
your mind is to either to refuse to think about them, or every time you find
your self in them, look at them with a new gentler , more loving
perspective. Think about it...
-
You did the best you could under those
circumstances and Your partner also did the best he/she could under those
circumstances.
-
Both of you were doing your best along your
paths of life, yet your best, did not synchronize in that moment and that's why
you broke up.
-
Your frequencies of vibration had crossed
paths for a while and spent some time together, but then , they had to
diverge and move on each on their own separate paths in the great game of life.
Else they would have grown stale together.
-
This experience was a necessity for each of
you to grow, but when you had outgrown it , each of you had to move on to their
own independent destinations.
-
With this thought pattern , you do not need
to judge your partner, nor does he/she need to judge you. You do not need to
hate your partner, neither does he/she need to hate you.
-
You simply meet in love and part in love,
because it is not really a parting or a meeting, it is simply a travelling along
paths that met for a while then diverged. You needed each other for a short
while and once that need was accomplished you moved on.
If you continue in this way of thinking whenever
needed, ultimately a time will come, when those thoughts will cease to bother
you anymore.
Remember, what you chose to think is all a matter
of choice... you just need to watch your thoughts , and replace those feelings
with more positive ones, as soon as you notice them. you can choose to be as
happy as you want right now. Or you can choose to be as joyful as you want.
These feelings are not coupled to any physical objects or situations. They are
all dependant entirely on you.
Here is an article for further help in overcoming those nasty lingering emotions
of breakup
NLP and Spiritual
Strategies For Overcoming a Break Up.
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