When a man or woman cheats, he / she tends to become more critical of his/her partner's behavior, attitude, actions, way of dressing etc... The cheating man or woman becomes more judgmental, starts finding fault, and in short trying to pick a fight with their girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife.

The cheating man or woman might be feeling stuck in that relationship and in their bid to find a 'way out' they are subconsciously reacting by anger and playing the blame game. This feeling 'of being stuck' might be so strong, that by his/her attitude the cheating man or woman might be subtly forcing his/her partner to 'throw the first punch' to breakup the relationship.

in Deeper ways they are psychologically  trying to justify their cheating behavior in their own subconscious minds, and they are doing this by finding faults, criticizing and condemning their partner, pointing false fingers ... anything to show that they have been driven into desperate cheating by their innocent partner's attitude.

At an even deeper level, the cheating man or woman's constant criticism, undermining and accusatory behavior is slowly eroding away at the self worth, self esteem and self confidence of their partner... The cheating man or woman is knowingly or unknowingly,  slowly but surely destroying the bedrock upon which his/her husband/wife/partner's entire foundation as a self rests.

If the cheating man or woman is not criticizing or condemning, he / she may be playing 'hard to get', unavailable, self righteous, high and mighty or  projecting  'silent disapproval' all the time... this attitude on a deeper level works in the same manner by slowly eating away at their  innocent husband or wife or partner's roots of self esteem, causing emotional  havoc in them when the betrayal is actually discovered and brought out into the open.

Because the 'deep down undermining' process has been going on for a while , the betrayed man or woman feels in-explainable emotional upheavals, pain , stress and is unable to recover from the shock of the betrayal by their cheating husband or wife or partner for a long long time...

 in fact, he or she will eventually sink into clinical depression if adequate measures are not taken to break out of those undermining emotional cycles. This is because every state of emotions... anger, hatred, jealousy, low self esteem, lack of self confidence produces chemical changes in the brain, and if left unchecked for a period as little as two weeks, these chemical changes can trigger serious physical symptoms like depression.

Can this state of affairs be overcome? ... Yes it can. You have to be committed enough to meet it head on,  the following are some recommended tools: