How to get Revenge on the Other Woman / Man

When you discover the ultimate betrayal in a relationship, your emotions can range from:

•  I was expecting it;

•  to disbelief;

• to feelings of betrayal and excruciating pain especially if the relationship was a very close one.;

• and sometimes very deep anger bordering on rage... how could he do this to me...

 Now your ego demands revenge... I am going to show him/ he cannot treat me like trash.

 If you have been very possessive in this relationship, and consider your partner like your 'property', and you feel that someone is trying to steal 'it' from you or is trying to 'show one up on you'...

in such instances you seek revenge against the person your partner is cheating with... that's when you end up searching for information like: 'how to get revenge on the other woman' or 'how to get revenge on my wife's or girlfriend's boyfriend or lover'.

If you are seeking revenge on the other woman or your girl's boyfriend, then most likely, psychologically:

• You are very possessive and  consider your husband or wife as an inanimate object or 'property', regardless of his/her personal feelings.

• You most probably already know the other man or woman personally and already have feelings of jealousy towards him/her even before you discovered the betrayal. In some instances you might not know the other party involved, yet you are so possessive of your relationship , that your jealousy of anyone who associates with your partner is very strong.

• Once you discover the betrayal, all your anger is now focused on the other partner... you feel that that person is trying to steal your most valued possession or trying to put you down... hence your ego now demands revenge against the other man or woman --

• your psychological state at that moment  is just like that of a wild animal fiercely protecting it's territory... by fighting off any competitors.

• Or if your break up has already happened, emotionally and psychologically, you have still not been able to move on and get out of that relationship... your feelings are bordering on hysteria... if he/she did not let me have a good relationship, I will not let him /her have a good one either. In fact in this case your reaction is just like that of an immature, hurt spiteful child... He hurt me... I am going to hurt him. It's payback time.

In your case, this happens regardless of your husband or wife's feelings in the matter. In fact you have not taken a moment to consider why the betrayal or cheating happened in the first place...

• Wasn't your husband or wife equally to blame?... Doesn't he/she have a mind and feelings of their own which they exercised freely?

•  Or was it just the other person who was seducing and controlling your man or woman?

• Or weren't you somehow also responsible partly by being the catalyst for triggering this cheating episode in your relationship?

Here you need to stop and take a moment to consider:

• If you successfully get revenge on the other man or woman in your 'trilogy of relationship', will you be able to get the full attention / love or your partner? Will your relationship be able to continue satisfactorily... or even if you eliminate this woman or man, won't there be other woman or man for you to deal with down the road... will this stop your partner from cheating further down in your relationship-- what if your husband or wife is a chronic cheater?

• or if the breakup has already happened and you are successful in getting revenge on the other woman or man, will you be able to feel self satisfied, and be able to move on happily with your own life? Will you be able to regain your peace of mind?

• Is your need for revenge simply a call by your own ego trying to cover up and mask your own guilt and regrets in the matter?

Its a big myth... revenge never brought any closure to any matter.

it's like she /he hurt you. You hurt her/him in return. Will there be closure? No.

Will your pain and emotional upheaval of betrayal, jealousy, anger, maybe even regrets and guilt  go away leaving you in total peace... NO. NO. NO.

Here the big question is...

 Why do you want to hurt yourself and continue immersing yourself in pain any longer?

Why do you want to let the other woman or man continue to control every thought of your wakeful moments? Yes... come to think of it... that other man or woman now has total control over your mind and your life... You are obsessed by her/her. you are in essence his /her slave, as he/she continues to hold you in an emotional prison. And the funny thing is , you have the key to this prison and you can walk out a free person anytime you want...

 Yes the truth is ... you are holding yourself captive to that man or woman. He / She has total power over YOu. That woman or man dominates you. And Your pride is standing in your way.

So do you still want to get revenge? Do you still want to get even? Do you still want to show that you are much better than her or him? Do you still want to make that other woman or man jealous of you?

If you do,

• You first have to get out from under his /her influence.

• You have to stop feeling inferior to him/her.

•  You have to believe that you are more successful, more attractive, more self confident, more self worthy.

• You have to show that you are more dignified and graceful.

• You have to prove that you are better in every respect.

• You have to learn to deal with your emotions successfully.