How to Get Over a Break Up
When Shelby's live-in boyfriend of Five years informed her that he was no
longer in love with her and was moving out, she almost lost her sanity.
It
took her a couple of intensive cry-overs on her best friends
shoulder and several weeks to be able to get a grip on herself. Not a complete
recovery but enough to be able to stand on her own and look things squarely in
the face. By then Bill, her boyfriend had already packed up and moved out of her
life. Fortunately , they had been sharing their living expenses, their were no
custodial issues so the break up was smooth.
Yet
the shock remained... she remembered that both of them had been madly in love
once. The sadness, and regrets and feelings of rejection lingered on and their
were strong indications that Shelby was going into depression.
Would she ever recover? Yes, it would happen eventually, after she had back slided into total chaos with her life... It took her a long time to get
over it.
Her
problem was that she didn't see it coming. Though there had been several
indications along the way... diverging interests, a shortfall in heart to heart
communication, less time spent together due to her increasing responsibilities
at work. It all contributed, until Bill eventually felt that he was often being
left on the back burner, and found other interests to keep himself occupied.
the
problem here was that Shelby had allowed herself to slide into a false feeling
of deep security with her relationship. She was taking it for granted. As
long as bill was there, she felt everything was okay. When she did realize that
Bill was a highly sensitive person and was feeling cut out from her life, by
then it was already too late.
How to get Over a Break Up - Ways:
1.
Mistakes have been made... that's fine. Even the best of us make mistakes. Learn
from them and move on. Repeating them a second time will be foolish.
2.
Develop an attitude of compassion. and gratitude -- Both for yourself
and your ex partner . Gratitude for the good times that you had together. And
compassion - because both of you did the best you could at that moment, under
those circumstances. So view your past experiences with compassion and
forgiveness.
3.
Eliminate all thoughts about your ex from your mind - even though breaking off
those thoughts in your mind can be hard to do, yet you can do it. Simply refuse
to allow them into your mind. So don't dwell on thoughts of why it happened, how
you could have prevented it, how can you get him back, what and with whom is he
doing now, how dare he do this to you, how can you get back at him/her and etc.
4.
Believe in yourself absolutely and completely. You can move on with your life.
Talk to people in your network of friends, ask for help and advise. Yet trust in
your own instincts and follow your intuition.
5.
Take good care of your self - You need to take good care not only of your
physical health but also your psychological or emotional health. So
exercise regularly, eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, get involved in some
self improvement projects, read positive material every day, and take care of
yourself in general. This is what will pay huge dividends in the long
term.
6.
Focus on finding your passion in life and follow up on it. For ultimate self
satisfaction, you will have to work on this aspect sooner or later in your life.
Why not find it sooner?
7.
Remember love is a chemical reaction, a combination of several factors besides
the actual chemistry, so people do fall out of love, or sometimes their are
cases of unfulfilled love or feelings that are not mutual. it can happen. It has
nothing to do with you personally. So don't allow feelings of rejection or guilt
wash over you and take over your life. Just because one person could not keep
your trust or return your feelings doesn't mean you won't find someone who
resonates with you much better.
8.
Your goal in getting over your breakup is to reach a state of blissful abandon
where you simply don't feel jealous , or angry or regretful or sad every time
you think of your ex and you don't even fantasize about your ex anymore.
9.
Remember it is always better to get out of a relationship where you are exposed
to cheating, lying, stealing, abuse or deceit . Your greater purpose in life is to
find peace, happiness and joy . And you cannot find this if you are having to
deal with continuous misery or agony in your relationships. So sometimes
what happens , happens for the best.
10.
Don't think of what happened in the past, don't think about how you will cope
with your breakup in the future, just find something that needs to be done NOW,
and go and do it. Hence taking each day one step at a time, you will be able to
get over it in no time at all.
11. Here is a further bit of advice, don't launch yourself headlong into a new
relationship, until you have figured out what you are looking for in a steady,
long term relationships... is it happiness, trust, sharing, commitment, joy ?
And if you can figure out some of the characteristic traits you would like to
see in your future partner that would be even better.
12. Now, here is another question for you: How
can you modify your own attitude, feelings or behavior to attract better
relationships, and perform better next time... Could you be a better listener,
could you improve your communication skills, do you need to be more positive
about your relationship, establish better rapport with your partner or be more
charismatic to attract the right kind of partner. Here is an article about how
your attitude can impact your relationship:
Where did the Love Go?
How to get over a break up - Overcoming a
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