Overcoming Cheating, Infidelity and Betrayal

Surviving infidelity... How to handle cheating

When a partner in a relationship is caught cheating, it's always the same reaction... "it's not me , it's you!", You are the cause of it.  the actual cause of cheating could be much deeper than such superficial issues. It could actually be a combination:

• You could be partly to blame.

• Your partner could be responding to psychological issues.

• The external influence from the 'third party' or the circumstances may be partly to  blame.

Whatever the causes, when a partner is caught cheating, instead of reacting on impulse and searching for ways to revenge or inflict pain in total anger, you need to take a moment to search for answers inside of yourself:

• Don't go reacting by maxing out your partners credit cards in a bid to destroy him/her financially.

• Or by spreading stories or rumors about him--

•  or by calling his/her boss and asking for him/her to be fired

• or by cheating yourself

• or by searching for ways to kill your cheating husband , wife or partner

• or by getting into  abuse hurling, or a punching fight with your partner.

It was in the old wild west that a person responded with a show of power or muscle or blows  to real or imagined insults - just like two kids fighting and howling over petty issues - such a show of power is a very childish unsatisfying response. It has its roots in the more basal instincts of a pack of dogs fighting over a bone ... in this case two grown humans are trying to show one over the other without reaching a final outcome.

 A more mature, genuine and dignified way of handling this issue would be by taking a deep breath, calming down and not reacting at all.

 Yes, not reacting in the sense of physical action... you are by no means going to accept your cheating partners infidelity. What you are going to do is simply to look within yourself and analyze your own feelings towards this situation first.

• Do you want to stop the cheating and save your relationship? or

• Do you want to end it all and move on?

This is a major decision that you have to reach before you even react to the situation, because your further actions will simply depend on the outcome that you require... ie heal the relationship or break it off completely.