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How to Handle a Break Up or Separation /
Betrayal
You have noticed all the tell tale signs of
an impending break up.
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Your spouse , partner, girlfriend or boyfriend is
trying to avoid you.
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He / she is breaking off prior engagements
or dates with you without adequate explanations at the last minute, or just not
showing up.
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He /she seems to be pre-occupied and does not give
you his/her full attention.
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You feel he /she is lying and hiding things
from you or worse yet, cheating on you...
Or if you are in a long term relationship or even
a marriage, and your partner is feeling stuck,
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Your partner may be trying to find fault with you
at the slightest provocation real or imagined.
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He /she may be making you feel inadequate,
undependable, may be undermining your self esteem or even self confidence by
playing the blame game.
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He /she may be betraying your feelings and
emotions. Or even be making a laughing stock of you with his/her friends.
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He/she may even be subtly trying to force you in
to cheating / infidelity so that he/she can find an easy way out of this
relationship.
Then there are unexplained long absences.
Unexplained expenditures.
private phone calls.
If you have a gut feeling for such an issue, and
all your instincts are crying 'break Up' or 'cheating' out loud.... 90 %
of the time you are right.
Here is how to handle a breakup calmly in a mature /
responsible way:
If you have known this person for only a short
while, then break up should not be such a life threatening issue for you. You
have to get serious and calm and work out what is your bottom line in this
relationship?
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How far are you going to go to keep up with
your partner's eccentricities?
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Is it worth it?
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Do you love him/her that much?
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Do you want to give this relationship a chance or
should you rather break up and move on?
Once you have worked out your own bottom lines
than it is time to act:
Open the channels of communication. Talk very
straight forward and come out clean about everything with your partner. If you
think it is not working, Then there is simply no point in pursuing this
relationship any further... after all what will you get , except more heart
aches down the road. So initiate the break up - tell him so and move on. The
world is waiting for you out there.
If you were in a very long term relationship or
even a marriage, and have deep emotional attachments to your partner Then you
have to handle your break up more cautiously:
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Keep the channels of communication between you and
your partner open at all times.
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You have to make absolutely certain that the
tell-tale signs you are seeing are truly spelling 'infidelity or cheating' on
your partner's /spouse's part and not some other work related issue or stress
going on in his/her life.
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Analyze your own feelings and if you want to work
on this relationship .
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Stop aggravating this relationship further by
being stressed out about it. Yes start taking control of your own psychological
and emotional health. You need to be strong enough to face it positively ... if
push comes to shove... and you really end up breaking up... so strengthen your
own self out even before it happens.
Tools
That can help you handle a break up calmly and overcome a break up fast:
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How to handle a breakup for Guys or Girls
/ Getting over a break up in a relationship with someone - articles:
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The
Author Shahnaz Rauf is a prolific writer with vast experience and
interests.
To find out more or contact her, use the contact
information at her website
http://www.snzeport.com
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