There are two sides to this question,

• If you tell, wouldn't your spouse or partner be angry, devastated, wouldn't it affect your relationship? Wouldn't it be a thorn pushing into the side of your relationship forever?

• If you don't tell - What if he or she finds out through some third person ? Then it would be the added insult of you withholding the truth, and could create a greater lack of trust in your relationship.

Your decision to tell or not to tell about your affair, depends a lot on the nature of your relationship with your spouse or partner and the emotional psychological makeup of your partner.

For instance if you have a very strong intimate bonding with your spouse or partner, and you know that he /she love you very much. Also that there is a very strong trust factor in the relationship. If your marriage or relationship holds a sanctity in both your minds, there exists a strong commitment to protect the relationship through better or worse. Then you can go ahead and tell your husband, wife or partner about your affair and beg for forgiveness.

  In this instance there will be some heartbreaks involved, some emotional upheavals, probably some drop in trust - but nothing that can't be repaired given enough time and commitment. You will need to work on rebuilding trust, gaining forgiveness and assuring your partner about your faithfulness and commitment to the relationship.

On the other hand, if your husband, wife, partner, girlfriend or boyfriend is

•  highly insecure,

•  has issues with low self esteem,

•  or fear of rejection,

•  or even an inferiority complex,

•  or generally he/she has a very fragile emotional makeup,

 Then you can be sure that any revelation about your affair, will simply bring things to a 'head on collision'. You will have to deal with a bruised ego for a really really long time, if it does not tear your relationship apart in the first place. In this instance, it is advisable to 'don't tell'. At least don't reveal your affair, until enough time has passed to lesson the pain of the blow.

 The best ways to get over the guilt from an affair or cheating regrets is to realize that:

 You made a mistake and that every mistake is a lesson in disguise - What did you learn from it. Take that lesson, that is what you will keep from this experience in your life.

Would you ever consider repeating the same mistake again - if not - why, if yes - why? You should make a commitment with yourself never to repeat the same mistake again.

Have you considered letting go of the affair or have you already let go emotionally, psychologically as well as physically. You need to work on releasing and letting go of all detrimental emotional attachments to your affair. Such emotions may be anger, jealousy, shame, unwanted memories etc.

Finally to get over the guilt from the affair, you need to forgive yourself. Yes, you need to deeply, completely and unconditionally love, accept and forgive yourself totally.  That is the best way to get over guilt.

Overcoming Guilt - How to Get Over Guilt From an Affair or Cheating Regrets You may check out the following self hypnosis - self help Tools -  They are Powerful: