Why remaining friends with your ex may not be
such a good idea...
The ideas
presented here are based on authentic facts. Using online statistical analysis ,
I have discovered that a lot of people are desperately searching for information
about: "how to deal with my boyfriends ex wife" or "my wife is cheating with her
ex" or "my man is still obsessed with his ex" and other such desperate
pleas for help:
For one , if you keep a thing going with your ex
-- even if it is just 'being friends'... is going to raise needless suspicions
and plant the seeds for jealousy in your future relationships.... in fact, this
may even become the major cause for break up of your next relationship.
There is simply no way you can eliminate
suspicions or jealousy unless if your future partner has a really strong self
image and trusts you to the core. Else just a few careless comments dropped in a
fertile overactive imagination are enough to create chaos. Your continued
friendship with your ex will also be a cause of concern for his/her future
relationships... so it is not healthy either way.
Also remember
that you had an emotional attachment to your ex... however hard you may have
tried to eliminate those feelings... you may have extinguished the flames, but
the smoldering char still remains buried deep under the rubble... ready to burst
forth and consume you once again at any unguarded moment - this flame may not
just be passion, it could be hatred, it could be anger, it could be jealousy, it
could be guilt, it could be shame, it could be feelings of failure or revenge...
it could be anything that could ruffle your calm exterior and composure.
As any self respecting success guru will tell you to keep away from negatives --
These emotions have the power to destroy your life even today... Why do you want
to allow yourself to experience that torture of your breakup all over again?
You are not
being fair to your future man or woman, by continuing friendship with your
ex....
-
First you are exposing him/her to possible pain or hurt with your
continued obsession with your ex.
-
Next you might inadvertently be clouding your
judgment
and expectations about your current relationship with your past behaviors.
-
And could end up making the same mistakes in
your future.
-
Also you might have good control over your
emotions, but can you say the same about your ex ... Won't you be adding fuel to
his/her emotions by remaining friends with him/her?
-
Further based on similar reasoning, you will be
hurting your ex's chances of success in his/her future relationship... so it
follows that it is not fair to your ex as well.
Remember your ex... girl or boy friend is your
past....
They wouldn't be your 'ex' if it were not so...
You need to release your past and move on. Live and let live... learn from your
past experiences and move on... that is what living successfully is all
about. Don't try to hold on to your past by remaining friends with your ex
husband, wife, boy friend or girlfriend.
Here please note that remaining civil is not the
same as remaining friends. You may need to remain civil and polite with your ex
if you need to maintain occasional contact with him/her regarding custodial
issues etc. However this counts as a totally different situation... being civil
and being friends are two different things... you can be civil to a stranger
too.
Read More Articles on Emotions of a Break
up: