Top 10 First Date Blunders
by Niquenya D. Fulbright, Professional Life
Coach
It's Friday night and you're all geared up to
go on that important
first date. You haven't dated in awhile and are pretty nervous that
you'll screw things up. How do you keep from making a complete arse
of yourself and more importantly, make it to that seemingly out-of-
reach second date? I have compiled a list of some simple tips to
prevent you from making the most common costly first date blunders.
1- Do not talk about your ex. It is very unattractive to tell your
date all about the exes and what they did or didn't do or how they
did it. It really is a turnoff and drops your date's interest
level. I'll take it a step further and say don't even discuss your
great platonic bowling partner friend to whom you confide all your
problems to. Your date will clearly see this person as a possible
threat and who wants to begin a relationship in a competition? You
want to keep the date as romantic and light as possible.
2- Speaking of light, keep the heavy dramatic topics out of the
conversation. Nobody wants to hear the gloom and doom of how you
think the world will end due to global warming or why Bush is doing
a terrible job. It is incredibly boring to discuss the current rise
in interest rates and the way your boss is giving it to you in the
rear end. Everything that comes out of your mouth should be
positive and upbeat.
3- Do not brag. It really is unimportant how much you have stowed
away in your 401K and how your Jag gets 34 miles per gallon. We've
all heard it a million times before so let that aspect of your life
be discovered. It's okay to highlight a choice few of your
accomplishments but don't oversell yourself. You're not on
commission.
4- Do not get all touchy-feely. It's creepy and offensive. You're
not at the point where you can take those freedoms so keep your
hands to yourself. No pats on the back, arms around the shoulders,
or hands on the knee. These things will come in due time so don't
rush the touching. This stage has to arrive as a natural
progression in the relationship.
5- Do not talk about sex. It's distasteful and downright tacky.
Everyone has heard all the libido stories and the dirty jokes. Keep
it classy and sophisticated. You're an adult so you should know by
now that it is completely unnecessary to drone on about what a
champion lover you are. If you're so good, your date will find out
eventually.
6- Be prepared. While spontaneity is a really nice attribute, it
doesn't bode well for first dates. You should have a well-thought
out plan of what you will be doing, when and where. Know your
budget and plan accordingly. Make dinner reservations and purchase
theater tickets ahead of time. It is embarrassing to arrive at your
designation just to find out its packed to capacity and/or sold
out. Give yourself enough travel time in between locations. And
whatever you do, don't be late in picking her up. And ladies, I
know it's tempting, but it really is a tiresome habit to keep him
waiting for the sake of being "fashionably late." Be ready at least
10 minutes prior to the time he is scheduled to arrive.
7- Do not be cheap. Guys, make sure you have enough in your pocket
to cover the date including any customary tips and incidentals. And
just so we're clear, it isn't cute to skimp out on tipping your
waiter/waitress because your water was 2 degrees warmer than you
would have liked it or any other cockamamie excuse you think your
date will find funny. She won't. You will look like a jackass and
nobody wants to be with a jackass. A proper gratuity is 10% of the
total bill. And ladies, just because your date is expected to foot
the bill doesn't mean you should come empty-handed. If you're going
dutch, then of course that's self-explanatory, but if he's paying
the check, you should at least offer to leave the tip. Besides,
didn't your mother always tell you to keep some change just in case?
8- Don't be cruel to the wait staff. As I said in the previous tip,
your date will not find it funny. This is really childish behavior
and I'm sure you don't want to come off as immature. So, please,
don't be overly demanding and difficult towards your wait staff. Be
courteous and polite at all times and treat them like the human
beings they are. As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with
honey than vinegar.
9- Use proper etiquette. Pigs eat slop. People eat meals with
silverware and use napkins. Save another time to let your
date "pull your finger" and keep the gaseous eruptions to a
minimum. Eat at a reasonable pace that allows for conversation
without a mouthful of food seeping from the sides of your lips. And
ladies, don't order the most expensive item on the menu just for the
sake of its price tag and don't starve yourself in an attempt to
keep from looking like a glutton. If you're hungry, eat. He'd much
rather see you enjoy your meal than watch you scrunch up your face
in agony of your efforts to disguise the loud rumbles erupting from
your tummy.
10- Last, this really should go without saying but, do not
overindulge in alcoholic beverages. A first date is not the time to
show off how well you can handle your liquor. The combination of
first date jitters and ten beers can be fatal to any possibility of
a second date. You should be well aware of your surroundings and in
full possession of your faculties. You don't want to be so
uninhibited that you forget your manners so keep it to a three
cocktail maximum.
The first date can be a horrific, terrifying, grueling, romantic,
exciting, fun and memorable experience. You will most likely be a
bottle of nerves and make many mistakes throughout your special
night but so will your date. Just remember these tips and be
yourself. After all, the hardest part was getting the date in the
first place.
About the Author:
Niquenya Fulbright is a professional life coach with over 10 years
experience specializing in career, sex, love and relationship
coaching. As founder of
http://www/chicagol oveconnection. com,
Niquenya helps her clients to improve the quality of their personal
relationships and sex lives through positive goal-setting, self-
assessment, time management skills building, image consulting and
exciting singles events. For more information or to schedule a
complimentary 30-minute coaching session, visit
http://www.niquenya fulbright. com or send inquiry to
contactme@niquenyaf ulbright. com.
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