Are you treating your breakup as a status symbol
?
For so long you have been identifying yourself as
Mrs. Someone or Husband of someone or boyfriend / girlfriend of 'someone',
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You have been going out with him/her everywhere.
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You have been socializing with his/her friends.
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You have been doing all the activities that he
/she found interesting.
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You have been unconsciously seeking approval from
your partner for even mundane things like ... the dress / clothes you wear, your
hairstyle, your social activities, even possibly your job.
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You have been acting on sublime cues from your
partner, about how much time you should invest in taking care of your personal
self grooming, your self education, even the foods you eat.
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You have been relying on him/her for emotional
support, advice and even guidance - hence everything that happens in your
work, or social life, you go and discuss it with him/her seeking his/her
sympathy or support.
Just like there is a popular opinion that pets and
their owners after being together for a long time, start taking on uncanny
similarities in appearance, so it happens too with long term relationships.
After a while the personalities of the two
partners start fusing together. With all their activities, likes and dislikes
mish-mashing or getting linked together very subtly in strange inexplicable
ways.
In this environment of unity , all of a sudden you
discover the ugly head of deception, lying or cheating going on under your radar
screen. Your trust is shattered. You feel totally betrayed. And your life
erupts into one traumatic drama of suspicion, jealousy, guilt, blame,
anger, even rage. Your status quo changes.
From a happy loving partner, you are suddenly
transformed into a person protecting their social position in life, trying to
prevent things from changing. You find you are loosing control. And your
ego is trying to protect you by giving you messages like ... How dare he /she do
that to me? What does he/she think he /she is? I am going to show I deserve some
respect!
All this is happening while you are still dealing
with the shock of finding your own independent identity that was somewhat lost
in the mish-mash of your relationship.
And while you are at it, you find you are
cut off from a whole lot of your 'mutual friends' as they start siding up with
one or the other of you. You no longer want to go to the same old places. You
have no one to intimately share your trust with.
Now there are two ways your Emotions will
Take You:
1. Soon you start feeling like an emotional
mess and start withdrawing into yourself. You feel like every one is
laughing or talking about you behind your back.
You Feel a 'loss of face' ... probably shame that
you were not good enough to keep your partner straight. Or 'Guilty' that you
allowed this to happen.
Without your partner , you feel 'naked' and this
train of thoughts totally renders you incapable of 'facing the world'.
You may start avoiding your friends.
You may start spending a lot of time alone and
consequently feel lonely.
You may even stop going out altogether. in Effect,
Your Life has come to a standstill. You think a lot of your 'ex' and may cry or
feel intense sadness. There seems to be no joy left in your life. You are
officially in severe depression. Here some people will start looking for ways to
get back with their ex and go back into 'the rosy golden years'.
2. You will get totally aggressive, angry ,
jealous and enraged. You will start looking for ways and means to get back at
your ex, to make his/her life miserable and hurt him/her and his/her future
partner. Your mind will be obsessed with revenge and you get totally incapable
of functioning beyond that idea.
Now , please note , None of those two routes
described above will take you any where, except spiral you downwards further.
Destroying your own life, and even the life of your loved ones, or any children
etc. associated with you. Don't hold on to a 'status quo' that never was.
You need to get over this break up as fast as
possible. And this means you need to avoid both these routes.
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You need to get back on your own feet.
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Find your own true identity and path in
life.
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And move on with your life.
Difficult - Yes. Impossible - No. You can do
it, if you really put your mind to it.
The Question is: Do YOU Want to do it?
Here
are Some Recommended Tools
That can help you get over a break up fast:
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