Overcoming being dumped - How to get over an
So you've just been dumped and you
desperately want to get over it. But the memories keep haunting you. You
cannot think straight for more than a few minutes before some view,
smell, word, place or person triggers a very strong reaction in you...
The guy walking a short distance away has
the same silhouette... oh could it be...Your heart skips a beat. The lady
behind you was wearing the same perfume and you are feeling excited. ...
oh could it be...
That tone of voice.... The way he/she poured the drinks...
It could be almost anything that brings it
all back to you.
Stop and think... what are you doing to
yourself. When you can't even control the way your very own brain hops
from image to image, thought to thought, how can you ever think of
controlling your relationship or even your life.
Everything is spinning out of control
precisely due to this reason... you don't feel like going out, because the
sights remind you of - you know who.
Is it the fear of bumping into him or
her again, or is it a painful memory... or is it a beautiful memory that
is making it painful for you to enjoy life right now. Whatever keeps
triggering those reactions in you... whatever vivid flashbacks keep
you from enjoying the present moment...
How to get over being dumped - Here's How to deal with being dumped...
Those flashbacks and memories are not your
reality anymore. It's over. It's gone. It does not exist any longer. It is
dead history. You could take a magical eraser and rub it out from the
history books in your mind, if such an eraser ever existed, and it would
be like it never happened before. Or it could just be a bad dream, that
dissipates as soon as you wake up. You are allowing your mind to keep
slipping back to dead history. You are not living your reality , you are
not living your actual life. You have to stop that and realize that it's
Humanity is a mass of life that keeps
surging ever forward on and on. No one can ever move back in reality. The
past has its hooks sunk deep into your mind and body and tries to hold you
back, but the sheer surge of the forward momentum, pulls off those hooks,
and what remains is the scars. You can get rid of the scars thorough
'plastic surgery of the mind' and pull yourself out of the reverse thrust,
as soon as you choose to do so.
Release all feelings and emotions connected
to those gone by days. Give them a loving farewell in your mind, and blow
them away... just like kissing goodbye to old friends who you know that
you will never meet again. Release those feelings of pain, love or
laughter. Release those emotions of anger, hurt, guilt or jealousy. They
have served their purpose in your life and are no longer useful.
Detach those emotions from the
pictures in your mind and then send them away. Release them like you are
releasing birds from a cage. You are giving them their freedom. As you
open the cage door, the birds hop closer a bit, but are still reluctant to
step out into the unknown. They need a little gentle coaxing before they
finally muster enough courage to fly out the cage once and for all.
Initially, the birds hover around a bit, like saying farewell to their old
home and then fly away to freedom, to greener pastures to greater
adventures. Let them go. You feel good for giving long captive birds their
freedom, and they in turn feel grateful towards you for letting them go.
So release, release, release, detach
those emotions from the images in your mind and let them go one by one. A
good way of doing this is by visualizing in your mind, by using
affirmations, or through
Since you have released all the emotions in
your mind, the images left behind are just dead pictures hanging on the
walls of your old home. You are doing a makeover. Devoid of emotions,
those pictures look just like any other pictures. You can now look at them
with disinterest and detachment. They are old and faded. Yellow with age.
Festering with termites and other germs of a long dead relationship.
A spring cleaning is long overdue. You take out those old pictures and put
them through the paper shredder or burn them in the furnace. Now nothing
is left except ashes, you dust away those ashes and throw them into the
ocean or flush them down the toilet. Now you are left with a lot of empty
frames. You find new, beautiful, inspiring and motivating pictures to fill
It is now time to fill up those empty
places in your life, those spots that were previously occupied by your
long dead relationship. You have just evicted a dead tenant. Refreshed and
made over the rooms. Now they are waiting to be filled up again. Fill them
up with beautiful images. Inspiring , motivating and life giving moments.
Find a purpose you would love to focus on, and proceed to do so. Focus
with passion on what you are doing. Don't look back... it has no holding
power over you anymore. Don't look forward, you are so engrossed in what
you are doing right now, that you don't look too far ahead anyways. Just
enjoy what you are doing. Immerse yourself in it totally. Be in the thrill
of the present moment.
Here are some tools that can automate the
above process for you, and make life much easier by helping you get over
your ex and overcoming being dumped...
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