How to cope with your own imminent death -- If
You have just heard the news that you have a terminal illness and are about
to die...
Initially you may
experience a state of shock and may lash out at others as being the cause of
this unwelcome news... but you can take it from me, that you won't win
peoples' respect or sympathy in this manner.
You need to deal
with this news gracefully. First you may want to schedule a
private 'grieving time' maybe just for a few hours only, but don't extend it
much longer. For life is very short and you have a very busy schedule ahead,
things to do, places to go, people to talk to, lots of ground work before
you finally say good bye to your physical abode...
Yes, you are just embarking on a journey.
You are leaving one stage of your life as a physical being and moving into
the world of souls... yes you are only changing form, just like a
caterpillar changes into a beautiful butterfly never to go back into
its original state of being a caterpillar...
So you are only shedding your outer
physical skin to evolve into a higher spiritual being that is the ultimate
destiny of all living things... Remember the laws of Physics unequivocally
proven by science...
'Matter/energy can never be created or destroyed it just moves from one form
to another'
This phase shifting or form shifting is what you are going to go through.
Humans over the centuries, in their
limited understanding of this phenomenon have labeled this as death, and
consider it to be the end of life... Yet the more evolved beings can tell
you that yes, it is only the end of your physical life, while it is a new
beginning too for you, as your soul steps out of its physical cage of a body
and experiences the 'freedom' of being in a boundless world.
So step out of your grieving period ASAP
and start looking forward bursting with the thrill and excitement you
experience in stepping into your new role...
Year's ago as a young kid of about 8 or 9
years of age, I read a story entitled "Sulizo Achieves Greatness", It had
one very resounding theme in it that I can still remember:
"Forward ever, backward never"
So lets move forward! You are going to be
very busy preparing for your new role... you need to put your affairs in
this physical world in the 'right order' so you can leave it peacefully
without worry or anxiety. You have done the best you could here and now you
need to put your affairs of this world at rest and prepare yourself for your
next role...
A
check list of Things to do If You know you are about to die:
Financial issues
:
-
Make a record of all your assets... bank accounts, Shares, RRSP's, Loans,
Lockers, etc. and keep it in a place where your heirs will be able to find
it... How many people die in the world, and there legal heirs are left
without a clue of what to look for and where to look for it.
-
Make a legal will outlining how you want all your money, wealth, personal
assets and things distributed, who your legal heirs are etc.
-
Put
all your financial matters into order... pay off your debts if you can.
Personal issues:
-
Forgive everyone against whom you have even
the slightest grudge, and forgive yourself too.
-
Call all those who matter in your life, and
talk to them for at least one last time,
-
Tell them you love them,
-
Ask them to forgive you for any misgivings
they might have against you,
-
Tell them you are sorry for your crude
behaviour in this very crude life,
-
Try to settle your differences very
truthfully, peacefully, harmoniously and amicably,
-
Thank them for their constructive roles in
your life
-
Go make that phone call, or write that note
you always wanted to do, yet somehow never got around to doing it.
Religious:
-
Go on a religious pilgrimage according
to your beliefs
-
Ask God to forgive you
-
Ask God to bless you in your life in the
hereafter
-
Start Paying a little more attention to
prayers and other religious rituals
-
Start visiting your place of worship...
church, mosque, temple, etc
Charities:
-
Make sure you make some donations to
some charitable organizations of your choice
-
Or help some individual in your
community you know who needs it
-
Go visit some orphanages, hospitals, or
old peoples homes, make a donation, volunteer for some much needed
services if you have the health/ energy to do so
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How to Cope With
Death Of a Loved One-- Such as a parent, a child , a sibling , a dear
friend...
If
some one you dearly love or very close to you dies or is about to die, this can be a very
tragic even traumatic and extremely sorrowful experience for you. Although
you may have to make big changes to your life to accommodate this loss yet
don’t let this sorrow consume you. Here is how to re-cover and recoup
from loss of a loved one:
1.
Accept that someone you held very close to you and could not think of
surviving without is now no longer here.
2.
However unfair this may seem, accept that life is a cycle, everyone
including yourself have to go someday.
3.
Accept that God, the great spirit, nature or the controlling energy of the
universe has a plan for each and every particle of life. Death is simply a
part of that great plan.
4.
Remember that partings or death can be a difficult time not only for
yourself but also for the person ‘going away’ or dying.
5.
Remember that he/she loves you just as much as you love him/her, he not
only does not want to leave you but may also be scared about what will
become of you as well as what will happen after death to himself.
6.
Remember that what you call death is simply a ‘change of state’, the
life force or energy is moving from one ‘form to another’. It is going
through a process of transition.
7.
Strive to make this parting/transition as easy for your loved one as
possible. Let his/her spirit or energy go with ‘peace of mind’, with
the secure knowledge that you will be alright, not to worry about you, and
concentrate on the challenges of the ‘journey ahead’.
8.
Yes grief and sweet memories are going to be a part of your life forever.
Give yourself an ‘intense grieving period’ 3-15 days at the most.
9.
Then wipe away those tears and go back to your normal life or to make a
new life for yourself. Life has to go on. This will make it easy for your
‘loved one’s’ spirit or energy to go on with one less fear or
weight.
10.
There will always be a deep sense of loss, but time will take away the
pain. and every time you get a deep longing for that person soothe
yourself by doing something nice in memory for him/her. For instance you
could help someone less fortunate, feed a hungry person in his/her name,
sponsor an orphan, give to charity or do a good deed in sweet memoriam.
11.
But always remember that life has to go on, you are just one element in
the great cycle of life. So take it easy on yourself.
12. Stop wasting your energy on sadness,
depression, feeling lonely or angry and start focusing on regrouping your
energies and resources and moving forward, because that is what your
'dearly departed' wants you to do:
-
Take one step at a time.
-
Move forward one day at a time.
-
immerse yourself in activity. Keep
busy.
-
Remember you have an obligation to
your own soul and you do have a 'life purpose' to fulfil in this world
before your time comes. Concentrate on finding your purpose and completing
it.
-
You have no right to become a sore
blockage in the future transition of your 'dearly departed's' soul... let
him/her rest/go in peace. Channel your grief into more positive things.
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