Coping with Breakups...
You have got only two choices - Either to
get over it or to get back together.
Probably you have just found out that your
partner is cheating or lying on you, and there is no option but to
breakup, or maybe you have just received a note or SMS that the love of
your life has decided to break up with you; or perhaps, it has already
happened,...
Whatever your motives for seeking this
information about coping with a break up, the fact remains:
Or perhaps you are trying to help someone
cope with a breakup.
Now if you are at the first stage, where you
have just discovered that a break up is looming in front of you -
You are being driven to the edge of a steep
deadly cliff and there is no option but to jump. It seems like your life
has come to a dead end. You don't know what to do. You are dealing with
stress, depression, anger. You are in serious conflict with your partner
and you can't think straight.
Well right here, I want you to take a break
in your thoughts. I want you to visualize a big red STOP! sign and ...
take a really, really deep breath through rounded lips, and then release
it slowly. Repeat it once more. Repeat it once again. If you have
really taken the three deep breaths, now your mind is a little bit
relaxed.
Now I want you to think about the safety
advice given during air travel -- The advice to put on your safety jacket
first before helping your kids or other people during an emergency crash
landing -- sage advice.
Your life is right now on the verge of a
crash landing - and the advice is to first secure yourself. This means...
-
Deal with stress, anxiety and depression as
a first step. This is not an impossible task if you are able to meditate
or calm yourself. Or you could use automated help with programs like.
Listen
Your Way to Peace of Mind, Health & Success
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Next, Think about it seriously... do you
want to stop the breakup and save your relationship. In this case possible
solutions for you could be to either seek counseling or use resources
like:
If you decide to go for the break up,
then there is not much to think about except pack up your things and
leave. Though if you have been in a common law or long term
relationship or even in marriage. In this case you might need a
good lawyer - Go find some really good professional advice.
Coping with breakups if you are at
the second stage, where the breakup has already happened... You still have only two choices - either to
get over it or to get back together.
About getting back together, you first
need to do some serious thinking. Will your partner take you back? Will
your core issues with your partner be resolved? Is it worth getting back
together? If you go for it, you might need information like:
And if you decide to get over the breakup...
Go. Go. Go. What's stopping you. Get
over it and get on with your life. It's simply a decision. You can chose to
get over the breakup, or you can chose to not get over the breakup. If you
are finding it difficult to forget your ex, or to fill up the empty spaces
the break up has created in your life... It's simply because subconsciously
you have chosen 'not to get over it'. There is a hesitation in your mind to
step over 'the dead body of your relationship'.
Yes, your relationship is dead. The earlier
you accept this fact the better. And yes, you probably feel sad and bitter
about it. That's normal. What's not normal is to keep wallowing in the
sadness, anger or bitterness longer than necessary.
You are not doing anybody a huge favor by
standing and sniveling at the 'grave of your relationship'. The earlier you
bury it and move on, the easier it will be for you and for everybody
connected to you. In fact, people are going to heave a 'big sigh of relief'
the moment they realize that you have chosen to move on.
So right now, I want you to picture yourself
in a graveyard, standing at the grave of your relationship. It's all quite
and serene, with lots of other graves dotting the green rolling lawns of the
graveyard. A tear spills down your cheek, but you wipe it away as a gentle
breeze ruffles your hair. You lay a single rose on the grave, raise your
hand in a final goodbye gesture, and then resolutely stride away without
looking back.
You move forward, your friends are waiting for
you at the gate, there are lots of balloons and confetti in the air. It
looks like a very happy celebration. Lightness and happiness is in the air.
You can feel it. All of a sudden you feel happy and light as you happily
shrug off the gloominess and sadness and pain of your past. You are over it
Now.
Listen
Your Way to Peace of Mind, Health & Success
Here are some more Coping with a breakup/
dealing with breakups
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