Break up self help – How to feel better
after a break up How you feel after a break up
of the main reasons you feel bad about a break up is because you think
that is how you are supposed to feel. Next you start attaching unrealistic
emotions to your breakup. And this starts to solidify those bad feelings
in your mind in relation to the breakup.
According to Richard Bandler's meta-model
theory - People don't experience reality directly but rather through the
'maps' of reality they create in their mind.
Similarly, we are not living with
people , we are living with our concept of them.
You get attracted to what your subconscious
ego feels is missing in your own personality. And your love is filtered
through the subconscious beliefs, habits and attitudes that have been
instilled or programmed into your mind by society, culture, traditional
My question to you is why do you need to
find what is missing in you outside of yourself. Seek it within. Love
yourself first. Cultivate the self image that you are subconsciously
trying to attract through love. Become the love.
are holding on to that relationship after a break up because you
think it made you feel good. But did it really make you feel good?
This reliance upon conditions external to
yourself for your 'feel good' feelings smacks a lot about a 'low self
image'. No person thing or event can make you feel good or bad, unless you
give it that power in your mind. Otherwise the idea of feeling good or bad
is intrinsic to yourself.
for sure your partner may have taken you
out and spent a lot of memorable fun times with you.
for sure your partner may have showered
you with gifts and compliments that made you feel self important.
for sure your partner may have showered
you with 'love' and made you feeling wanted and good in terms of
Yet the feeling of 'feeling good' is just
like the elusive feeling of 'happiness'. Recent research has shown that
you do not need any person, thing or event external to yourself to make
you feel happy. There are lots of people in the world who have got every
possible amenity... relationships, money, things, property, yet they do
not feel happy or do not feel good about themselves. Then there are
others, who don't have anything... no love, no friends, no money... yet
they are quite happy and satisfied. They feel good about themselves, they
feel good about being alive every day.
Lets look at it this way:
The drug addict needs drugs to make
him/her feel good.
The alcoholic needs alcohol to make
him/her feel good
The glutton needs lots of comfort food to
make him/her feel good.
The avid shopper needs to shop
continuously to feel good.
And You... you need your 'ex' to make you
Does it ring a bell? Do you really need your
ex to make you feel good.
You could also feel good without him or her
if you so decide. or you could also feel good in a new relationship with
someone. Or you could just feel good by yourself. It's all within your
power. You just need to decide to feel good hence forth.
Here is an exercise for you to make you feel
Can you make a list of things that you
like about yourself. It could cover all your abilities, attitudes,
accomplishments, achievements etc. Basically anything that made you feel
good about yourself however small, in all the days of your past life.
Hey, don't tell me that you have nothing
that you like about yourself, or no accomplishments, or abilities, or
beliefs, or in-fact anything... This would go to prove my thesis that you
really do need a massive boost in your self esteem.
Here is a quote from Anthony Robbins to
explain my point:
"Some of the biggest
challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a
relationship in order to get something: They’re trying to find someone
who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a
relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you
go to give, and not a place that you go to take."...
So could it be that your
relationship failed in the first place because though your partner made
you feel good, yet you did not make him/her feel good enough?
Remember the only way you can make someone feel good is
to first feel good about yourself. And you do not need anything external
to yourself to feel good. So start feeling good now.
Self Help for Breaking up - More
feel better after a break up - Self Help tools to get over the breakup: