Behind the Fear of Breakup:
Fear is one of the strong forces that drive one to
failure. It
lingers with many faces, and may seem to follow around like a
shadow. One gets afraid of situations, and even in a positive
side of loving. It may seem perfect, yet there is fear of being
lonely. Why will a person be afraid of breakup?
When one surrenders to someone by giving commitment, what is at
stake is the whole being. But this varies from person to person.
A relationship does not end in sweet expressions, but it is just
the beginning. Surrendering the utmost privacy starts by giving
a piece of oneself in form of conversation, aspirations,
dreams, secrets, trust, ideas, passion. In some other form, it
is giving off the ego and letting someone guard or take hold of
it. But this is abstract. What if someone has intimate
relationship? It is almost the same as giving one’s soul.
Again, there is this haunting on being afraid to lose someone.
And as time goes by, without any promise of security, this
leads to a more painful thought that one gets too afraid of it.
Ask yourself: “why be afraid of breakup?
As if it is easy to pacify and give perfect answer to
this
question. A love that is full of fear is not comforting but a
doom lay unsaid. It is a very NEGATIVE emotion. One must guard
oneself from being a slave of this thinking because it will
lead and attract consequential emotions like jealousy in its
destructive sense. A person will cling and strangle his loved
one by this behavior. This fear of breakup is an indication
that one is afraid not exactly on losing the love, but what was
entrusted to the other. Is it fear of losing the ego? Afraid of
losing what is at stake?
What
is there to lose after giving up everything? Say after
many years of building a dream with someone… because breaking
up could mean 50 years of being in a roller coaster
relationship. Of course, that is not a very easy thing to
console with mere words. Sorry or apology can never put comfort
to years of struggle in keeping the boat sailing constantly just
like the way the relationship works. What if there are children?
The fruits of a relationship of course emerged not anywhere but
form the outcome of the process. It will really be painful that
one gets too afraid of breakup. It is breaking the children’s
heart that is more painful even more because it turns into long
term attachment.
Settling the matters of breakup has legalities in case of
married people. If everything is hopeless, there is no other
option but legal conjugal settlements of divorce and annulment.
In this way, assets will be well taken care of for the future of
the beneficiaries. It is justifiable and fair for both spouses,
although it is the emotional impact that makes things harder.
For childless couple, unless there is exchange of assets, more
or less the problem is on the emotional side. Thus, it is
advisable that young couples must not indulge in careless
sexual relationship that can harm each other’s decisions while
they are not yet prepared to commit to a full term responsible
relationship. The pain of breakup is insurmountable after
consequences are not avoidable. Say, pregnancy after breakup is
a lifetime problem to endure.
Being afraid of breaking up goes hand in hand with insecurity.
The person has no guarantee of getting the amount of love given
away. If children are at stake, what will happen afterwards?
There are many people who have undergone this plight and they
tell different stories. Most problems in the society as a whole
are just the by-product of this breakup. So there is really
something to be afraid of breaking up if the consequences are
equal to the world itself.
As it is the walk of life, one can only choose the lesser evil,
otherwise, prevent the breakup from happening, which is
realistically impossible to many. It is the making of a choice
decided by no one but by the individuals concerned. The pain
will dwell within but time has ways of washing it away. The
wound will heal but it will leave a scar. That is reality.
About The Author: Breakupadviceonline
(http://www.breakupadviceonline.com)
is a new resource for
breakup and divorce information. No matter you want to breakup
with someone, survive a breakup, or get an ex back, you will
find useful information on our site.
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