Getting Over Betrayal
To be able to get over betrayal
successfully, you first need to understand the mechanics of betrayal, very
Meaning of Betrayal - Betrayal of Trust
Betrayal is deception in action. It is
the breaking of a trust or promise real or implied or a social contract
between two parties. Though the word betrayal is more popularly used in
the context of 'betraying one's country or government' ie. leaking
important state secrets, documents or plans, or acting as a spy, or
leaking any information that one has been entrusted to protect by his/her
partners. In more intimate or personal relationship terms, betrayal can
take several forms, for instance:
Betrayal between friends
Two very close friends share all kinds
of secrets and intimate details, thinking their secrets will be safe with
each other. Then one of them secretly unknown to his/her friend, starts
'spilling the beans' or revealing the secrets to the 'enemies' or people
who were not supposed to learn of this information.
-- Cheating or infidelity in a
marriage or intimate relationship is a form of betrayal. It is a breaking
down of the 'contract of marriage' , as well as a break down of emotional
trust and otherwise between the partners.
-- Physical or mental abuse in a
relationship is a severe form of betrayal. Because this is a breakdown of
the code of conduct of human rights and all relationship and emotion
-- Betrayal in break ups amounts to the
breaking down of the unspoken code of conduct of relationships / dating
i.e. Do not discuss your relationship with your friends, do not expose
private or intimate details of your partner or date, do not play with
An example of a very popular case of
emotional betrayal that was widely reported in the news print and online
media was that of a young police employee... she unbuttoned her shirt,
took a picture of her 'boobs' and sent it off to her boyfriend in a bid to
excite him/keep him interested. And this guy went and posted it on the
internet without her knowledge. In addition to the trauma of deception,
this also resulted in the loss of her job.
Effects of Betrayal
effects of betrayal can be many depending on
It could cause harm to the assets/
interests of the country or the institution betrayed.
It could be a breakdown of friend ship /
development of enmity .
It could cause harm/ even danger to the
person betrayed by putting sensitive information in the wrong hands.
It could result in a break up, even
divorce of relationship or marriage.
Emotional betrayal can cause great agony /
pain to the partners involved. It can result in long term clinical
depression, break down of someone's life and even the life of children
involved say due to break up of marriage due to infidelity or cheating.
Emotional betrayal in relationships can
result in trauma, loss of face or shame, feelings of guilt, regret,
jealousy, anger and can even backfire and instigate revenge or even
worse. For instance, there have been several widely reported cases of
murder / killing for revenge especially in cases of break down of
Getting over Betrayal in Relationships:
Getting over betrayal and loss of trust in
relationships can be hard, but is not impossible. Though it does require
strong commitment / desire to get out of the trauma of betrayal and
move on positively with your life.
the first questions you need to answer are:
Of course the decision you make depends on
how much pain and trauma the betrayal has caused you. Is the relationship
even worth repairing or not?
If you opt for repairing and
rebuilding the relationship, how can you be sure that the betrayal will
not be repeated or will not happen again -- This option requires a strong
commitment from your partner as well -- mere promises may not work to
deter a person who has betrayed you once. Then of course you will have to
forgive your partner and rebuild trust in the relationship. Will you be
able to do that?
While the decision to move on will entail
the making of several positive changes in your life. At the least, it may
involve the change in your own personal beliefs and attitudes. Or if it is
more intense, it may even require making changes in your residence (say if
you are moving out); it may involve change of jobs; change in financial
situations and obligations and more.
If you are truly committed to getting over
betrayal and moving on with your life. Then read the following
series of articles :
Getting over Betrayal | Surviving Betrayal |
How to Deal With Betrayal Articles:
How to Get Over a
Betrayal Quickly, Easily and Simply -- Recommended Tools