Overcoming Betrayal
How to Deal With Betrayal - Get over Betrayal - How to Cope with Betrayal - Coping with Betrayal - Betrayal and Separation - Betrayal of Trust














































Getting Over Betrayal

To be able to get over betrayal successfully, you first need to understand the mechanics of betrayal, very briefly...

Meaning of Betrayal - Betrayal of Trust

Betrayal is  deception in action. It is the breaking of a trust or promise real or implied or a social contract between two parties. Though the word betrayal is more popularly used in the context of  'betraying one's country or government' ie. leaking important state secrets, documents or plans, or acting as a spy, or leaking any information that one has been entrusted to protect by his/her partners. In more intimate or personal relationship terms, betrayal can take several forms, for instance:

Betrayal between friends

 Two very close friends share all kinds of secrets and intimate details, thinking their secrets will be safe with each other. Then one of them secretly unknown to his/her friend, starts 'spilling the beans' or revealing the secrets to the 'enemies' or people who were not supposed to learn of this information.

Emotional Betrayal

 -- Cheating or infidelity  in a marriage or intimate relationship is a form of betrayal. It is a breaking down of the 'contract of marriage' , as well as a break down of emotional trust and otherwise between the partners.

-- Physical or mental abuse in a relationship is a severe form of betrayal. Because this is a breakdown of the code of conduct of human rights and all relationship and emotion codes.

-- Betrayal in break ups amounts to the breaking down of the unspoken code of conduct of relationships / dating  i.e. Do not discuss your relationship with your friends, do not expose private or intimate details of your partner or date, do not play with their emotions.

An example of a very popular case of  emotional betrayal that was widely reported in the news print and online media was that of a young police employee... she unbuttoned her shirt, took a picture of her 'boobs' and sent it off to her boyfriend in a bid to excite him/keep him interested. And this guy went and posted it on the internet without her knowledge. In addition to the trauma of deception, this also resulted in the loss of her job.

Effects of Betrayal

effects of betrayal can be many depending on the situation:

  • It could cause harm to the assets/ interests of the country or the institution betrayed.

  • It could be a breakdown of friend ship / development of enmity .

  • It could cause harm/ even danger to the person betrayed by putting sensitive information in the wrong hands.

  • It could result in a  break up, even divorce of relationship or  marriage.

  • Emotional betrayal can cause great agony / pain to the partners involved. It can result in long term clinical depression, break down of someone's life and even the life of children involved say due to break up of marriage due to infidelity or cheating.

  • Emotional betrayal in relationships can result in trauma, loss of face or shame, feelings of guilt, regret, jealousy, anger and can even backfire and instigate revenge or even worse. For instance, there have been several widely reported cases of murder / killing for revenge especially in cases of break down of relationship.

Getting over Betrayal in Relationships:

Getting over betrayal and loss of trust in relationships can be hard, but is not impossible. Though it does require strong commitment / desire to get out of  the trauma of betrayal and move on positively with your life.

the first questions you need to answer are:

  • Do You want to patch up the relationship?

  • Or do you want to exit the relationship and move on with your life?

Of course the decision you make depends on how much pain and trauma the betrayal has caused you. Is the relationship even worth repairing or not?

 If you opt for repairing and rebuilding the relationship, how can you be sure that the betrayal will not be repeated or will not happen again -- This option requires a strong commitment from your partner as well -- mere promises may not work to deter a person who has betrayed you once. Then of course you will have to forgive your partner and rebuild trust in the relationship. Will you be able to do that?

While the decision to move on will entail the making of several positive changes in your life. At the least, it may involve the change in your own personal beliefs and attitudes. Or if it is more intense, it may even require making changes in your residence (say if you are moving out); it may involve change of jobs; change in financial situations and obligations and more.

If you are truly committed to getting over betrayal and moving on with your life. Then read the following  series of articles :

Getting over Betrayal | Surviving Betrayal | How to Deal With Betrayal Articles:


How to Get Over a Betrayal  Quickly, Easily and Simply -- Recommended Tools :






















The Author Shahnaz Rauf is a prolific writer with vast experience and interests.
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