How to get over a really bad breakup with a child
If you have just gotten through a really bad break
up with a child involved. Your first and foremost concern should be for the
child's well being. Children are very sensitive and not able to comprehend the
situation fully. The child may be totally scared and confused, Even traumatized
at being separated from one or both of the people he/she regarded as the centre
of his/her universe. In fact the child right now feels that his/her universe has
come crashing in. So your first concerns should be:
1. Re-assure the child that he/she is not the
cause of the break up. Here is an idea you might want to check out -
How do I tell the Kids about Divorce?
2. You should have a financial plan or a job
to be able to ensure a secure life for the child and yourself.
3. If you have any custodial issues where the
child is concerned then you might want to urgently check out
4. Don't be too high and mighty to ask for help or
support from your friends and family. Especially keep the grand parents or other
relatives the child is emotionally attached to involved. They can come in handy
for emotional back up support or in providing some baby sitting or fun time to
the child when you are away at work or in other duties. Also they can help the
child stay grounded.
5. Explain the situation to the child, but don't
try to put down the other parent too much. Be careful around this issue. It
could hurt your child even more. In fact if possible re-assure the child that
nothing has changed in his/her relationship with the two parents. Both still
love the child. And try and soothe any fears away.
6. Try and keep the transitional phase while
changing homes, or changing jobs, or changing school for the kid as smooth as
7. Don't expose the child to your own frustrations
and emotional pain or anger, he/she has got enough of his/her own emotions to
deal with. Show that everything is under your control and that you are someone
the child can trust and rely upon.
8. Don't try to block parental visits with the
other parent or don't make the child feel guilty for liking the other parent as
9. Encourage the child to get involved with
friends and other extra- curricular activities to keep him/her occupied in a
10. Once you have managed to bring some semblance
of normality into your every day life, it is now time for you to take charge of
your own emotional pain as well. Remember you have got added responsibility and
hence you don't have the privilege to indulge in emotionalism. Or to
prolong the pain any longer than is necessary. So use
to bring some peace and tranquility into your life. It will help you get
over the break-up that much faster.
10. Finally, don't be in a hurry to get into a new
relationship. Make sure that your child and you have healed completely before
you can even think about it.
How to get over a Bad
Tools That can help you Recover fast: